5 Ways To Grow Into Yourself When You’re in College

It’s that time again! Back to school time is back around! I graduated from college back in December 2020. After reflecting on my time in college, I am DEFINITELY not the same person I was when I started college. Here are some lessons I’ve learned during my time in college that might help you grow into yourself!

*Disclaimer: This is taken from MY own experiences and has helped ME become a better person.

1) Learn to Be With Yourself

One thing I experienced in college is that EVERYONE’S schedule will be different! Each semester will be different and schedules might not align. There were days I found when I had to eat lunch alone (something that would’ve made me uncomfortable in high school!). But that was actually such a good thing for me because I needed to sit through the uncomfortable feeling of “being alone” and begin learning to take up the space around me. Through this process of being by myself, I was able to build up some confidence within me, reinforce the idea that I didn’t need to depend on anyone else to feel important, and grow into who I am. Taking time to be with me also helped me to create boundaries with other people, advocate for myself, and learn to value myself.

2) Consistency is Key

Something I found to be true while working and interacting with other people is that consistency is key. I think consistency is a testament to a person’s character. What I mean by that is when there is a consistent pattern that somebody is displaying, that’s a little taste of how that person acts. For example, when I used to work as an after-school instructor, I would make sure to say, “have a great weekend!” to my co-worker at the end of our sessions. She would say, “thanks,” and end it like that (usually if I say that to someone, they say, “have a great weekend” back) LOL but this just shows how different people are and how they act! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3) Take a Break

I think this is one of the most important things you can do for yourself! It can get super busy and overwhelming with school, work, and trying to live a balanced life. Take a step back and take a break. You need to recharge yourself to avoid burnout and other aversive effects (such as lack of emotion regulation, exhaustion, etc.). I usually like to journal every day to debrief about the day, hang out with friends, and engage in a fun activity (for me, it’s usually photography- or music-related).

4) Get Out of Your Comfort Zone and Try Something New

College is a time for you to grow, try new things, and open yourself up to new opportunities. It may not be easy putting yourself out there, but I think it will definitely help you to open your mind up to new things and instill some confidence in yourself. One fun example of trying something new is when I went to a fair with my friend and we were wondering what ride to go on. We both decided to try something new and went on the Ferris Wheel (new for both of us!). I was excited and I’m glad we went on it because it was really fun seeing things from a new perspective up high! My friend on the other hand was scared, but it helped her grow out of her comfort zone!

Additionally, in my junior year of college, I thought about becoming a research assistant; however, I didn’t know anybody else who was in a program. I mustered up the courage to apply and I got in! Granted, the research position only lasted like a month because the COVID-19 pandemic shut down the schools. Nonetheless, I was still able to gain some experience and actually met a new friend!

5) Be Mindful of Who You Have in Your Friend Group

According to Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Systems Theory, the people you have around you will affect you in some way, especially in your microsystems (Guy-Evans, 2020). Do you have good people around you? Do you feel like you can be yourself around them? Are the people allowing you to grow or are they pulling you down? In high school, I re-evaluated my friendships and I felt like I was pulling most of the weight. I also felt like I had to try so hard to make plans, which mostly fell through 🙁

When I went into college, I actually found people who wanted to get to know me, follow through with plans, and care for me. This is a super small example, but after I dropped off a friend at her dorm, she said, “Drive safe! Let me know when you get home.” I got home and totally forgot, but she texted me asking if I made it home. She was the first person to ACTUALLY follow through and actually check up on me! She taught me I should check up on my friends and follow through with what I say! Now I tell my friends to let me know when they get home safely and follow through. It’s a small act, but it shows that I care about my friends. Find people who care for you, make time for you (trust me, with the busy schedules, this is soo huge!!!), and bring out the best version of you!

Which advice stood out to you? How have you grown into yourself lately? Comment down below! If you are going into grad school, take a look at this blog post here.

Thoughts About Attending Grad School in Your Early 20’s

References

Guy-Evans, O. (2020, Nov 09). Bronfenbrenner’s ecological systems theory. Simply Psychology. https://www.simplypsychology.org/Bronfenbrenner.html